There Will Be LOST

So if you have a problem with that, we probably wouldn't be friends. There will also be lost spoilers, so if you care, probably dont read this fine source of my opinion on Lost night. Which is Thursday.

I came late to the phenomenon of Lost, starting through just after season 2 had finished airing. A lot has changed since it was just about some people who inexplicably survived their plane breaking up in mid-air and then plummeting to the earth on a mysterious island eerily resembling Oahu's north shore. In fact, the thing about the show that brought me back from the very beginning was its tendency to increase the What The Fuck quotient with every episode. Just from the pilot, there's a paraplegic who was able to walk again immediately after the crash and a monster who ate the pilot and uproots trees. And that's the baseline of the WhatTheFuckiness.

My friends and I have been discussing whether or not Locke will end up being the ultimate antagonist of the show once all is said and done. Some people do not agree with this. Obviously, their opinions are wrong. You know who you are. We were watching some of season one the other day and those of us in the "man, Locke is totally gonna be the villain," camp were struck by how his back-stories, drastically more so than anyone else's are tales of hardship and woe at every turn. He's really given the history of someone destined to turn to the Dark Side. Nobody has ever really loved him, except the one woman who could have saved him, but he fucked it up. Locke makes bad decisions. There was the whole "conned out of a kidney" incident, just to name one.

But tonight Ben really threw his name solidly back into contention again with the revelation that in addition to being a crazy-eyes killer and brilliant criminal mastermind, he's probably also BATSHIT INSANE, and as a result maybe just a tad psychotically and homicidally jealously obsessed with Juliet. Because she looks "just like her." Who's "her?" Now why the fuck would Lost bring up and answer a question in the same episode? We'll probably figure out who "her" is in the fucking series finale. Though, now that I'm writing this, it occurs to me that they may play the 'juliet looks like Ben's mom' card (you know, because she's blonde and is a woman) and have the whole obsession run along the lines of "OMG I MISS MY MOMMY WHO I NEVER MET" in addition to the obvious sexual tension. yuk. Either way, the man is at most only slightly hinged. Awesomely so.

A final note: Secrets. Secrets really do not do a body good on Lostisland. Nikki and Paulo died of secrets. Sun got clubbed over the head with secrets. Pretty much the only person capable of keeping secrets is Ben, and he might be the devil. So Farraday and C.S. Lewis go off on a secret mission to save everyone on the island, but do it in the sketchiest manner possible, and fraught with secrets, mug Kate in the process, have an awesome C.S. Lewis/Juliet hotchick-fight while Daniel Farraday is doing science, and then get all up on the cross about how offended they are at not being trusted. 'the HELL kind of plan is that? How about, "Hey, so we're going to go disable an as-yet-unseen to the viewer DHARMA station that could kill everyone. Here's how, and who wants to help?" No... nonono. Clearly, sneaking off in the night without telling anyone is a better way to not irk the losties, who are totally acting like the others more and more each show. Great plan.

Secrets aren't just no fun and hurting someone; they could KILL EVERYONE. Stop it.


On a completely unrelated note, I'm cat-sitting for my parents while they're out of town. My mom, bless her, has trained them to do the most retarded thing ever: drink water from her hands held under the bathroom sink faucet. So basically whenever I'm in the bathroom, or walk by the bathroom, or get up from the couch, they both run in there and I'll find whichever got there first sitting in the sink, meowing. What the HELL, mom? Where does that start making sense? It certainly hasn't for me yet. I'm sure there's a lolcat just waiting to be made. SINK... UR DOIN IT WRONG. SINK CAT IS IN THE SINK.