Chaos

Just watched the fine heist movie Chaos, starring Jason Statham, Ryan Philippe, Wesley Snipes, and a collection of various That Guy Who Played. That guy who played Ritter in Clear and Present danger, that guy who played Krycek on the X-Files, that guy who plays the chief on Battlestar Galactica, that chick who plays a reporter on Battlestar Galactica, that guy who played the huskier lieutenant on Battlestar Galactica, that guy who played Captain McRaperson on Battlestar Galactica, and that guy who reminds me of BD Wong, but was actually Chuckles, on, you guessed it, Battlestar Galactica.

Now, given that both are filmed in Vancouver, B.C., it certainly makes sense that there would be a lot of crossover between small speaking roles acting pools. But I'm always a little irritated when filmmakers shot exterior shots in Vancouver and then try to tell me its Seattle. Just fucking call it Vancouver and be done with it. Oh, you're having a nice walk through downtown Seattle in this shot? Well, then, why the fuck isn't a hill in frame anywhere? Downtown Seattle is comprised of One Gigantic Fucking Hill. The only level spot is around Westlake and Nordstrom, and you've got the Sound on one side and Capitol Hill on the other.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't give two shits about this. Filming in Vancouver is cheaper and there's a very decent-sized film industry which has been patronizing the city for some time. Seattle, on the other hand, is run by a bunch of prats more interested in sucking off Paul Allen's construction and development cronies (see the South Lake Union Streetcar. Actually everyone calls it the South Lake Union Trolley, as they may then claim to have ridden the SLUT, or seen it at least, as nobody rides the dammed thing) and calling that 'bringing businesses to the city' than anything that would require significant outlay, like, oh, I dunno, building infrastructure or any other element of urban planning. I understand not wanting to deal with the hassle of whatever it is that has prevented a realistic portrayal of the city in film thus far. But if you're gonna set your movie in Seattle and then film it in Vancouver, please, for the love of my willing suspension of disbelief, do not open with a montage of wide shots of Seattle, covering the entire urban center of the city only to cut to a shot of several entirely different skyscrapers. Skyscrapers from Vancouver. And while I'm at it, please do not repeat this maneuver each time you have a B-roll transition. At least 3 fucking times Chaos did this, and that's just stupid.

Now, with that little rant out of the way, Chaos was pretty sweet. The IMDB date of 2005 with a release date of 2007, usually a mark of a movie too crappy to go up against anything strong, notwithstanding, the film was interesting. More slowly paced than an action movie, less bravado-ridden than a normal cop-flick, and less annoyingly obsessed with minutiae than most heist-movies, Chaos seemed satisfied with fucking with its viewers on its own terms. The twist was reasonable and not so over-the-top obvious as to recall that steaming pile of a film The Village (which I actually liked despite wanting to choke Shyamalan with his own smug, twist-shitting entrails. That twist ruined what would otherwise have been a very interesting pilgrims-era supernatural period piece. Fuck everything he's done since the 6th sense) and the resolution of the film left me feeling satisfied for everyone involved, but not in a particularly Hollywoody way.

Not a great work of film but a decent movie and worth a rental if you like movies about things being stolen, explosions, confused cops, and Jason Statham being a badass.

Tags: Jason Statham, movies, Battlestar Galactica, Vancouver, Seattle