FUCK daylight saving time

To those of you who know me, this rant will be nothing new, but whatever: FUCK daylight saving time.

This particular spring morning was probably the most jarring spring-ahead I've ever experienced, though in all fairness, that was probably due more to the cats engaged in a fucking Thunderdome on my bed than with the fact that it was suddenly dark outside again when i got up. Once i managed to remove the ball of angry cats from the vicinity of my man-parts, however, I was struck at just how balls-dark it was. Though I rarely greet the morning with a cheery smile, I do not usually experience the "Oh, fuck this bullshit," feelings i experienced this morning. I just spent the last few weeks getting used to it being gradually lighter and lighter when my alarm of doom first sounds, and now that its DST again, I'm going to have to spend another few weeks training my unconscious from hitting the alarm and going back to sleep because its too dark.

DST is totally ass-backwards, too. Its supposed to give us more light in the evenings when we're home from work. WHAT? The summer is when there's NATURALLY more fucking light when we're home from work. If we really wanted to accomplish the stated goals, why switch back right when days are getting shorter again? It makes about as much sense as a giraffe in rollerskates trying to go to the opera, which is to say, only in some bizarre Seusian netherworld of anti-logic does the summer need more daylight in the evenings and the winter less. I would LOVE to have another hour of sunlight on my walk home from work in the winter. Not only is sunset over the Olympics and downtown Seattle beautiful from Capitol Hill, but I'd probably be spared at least 1 near-death experience crossing the street at Pine and Boylston just from the extra visibility. But, NOOOooo... lets have it at the time of year that makes no sense. That makes more sense.

Then there's the "well it saves electricity by letting people leave the lights off longer each night" argument. That is stupid, or at the very least, completely wrong.

Usually people love the falling back portion of the DST Useless Fuckery, but guess what? I can even find the dark center of that silver-lined cloud. Last-call at bars in Seattle is 2am. DST ends at 2am. The second it strikes 2am it is instantly 1:00:01am again... yet not a single bar wants to continue serving me alcohol sat/sun night. NOT ONE. This seems like absolute bullshit to me. Not that I expect them all to do so, shit if DST ended at 5pm friday and my boss wanted to work the second 4 o'clock hour, I'd probably get fired every fall for telling bosses to go fuck themselves. But its Capitol Hill, a neighborhood comprised entirely of bars and shady mini-marts and restaurants that are mostly bars. Wouldn't you think that ONE of them would throw down some extra cash to the staff and take advantage of having ALL of the Hill's drinkers come by for the SuperSpecial ExtraDrinkingHour? I would be so there. My friend Josh would be too. Seattle bar owners, start planning this special event now, and I will bring the customers. Help me help you help me drink later than is usually allowed.

Really the only saving grace of the whole fucking ordeal is the fun I personally derive from not changing my clocks and watching my friends double-take whenever they check the time. I didn't take them off DST until after New Years this year.

Tags: daylight saving time, cats, rants